Hyperactivity, Excessive Drinking, Over-active Libidos and Drugs - cont.

But, oh well, fuck it. 
No regrets, right ?
Just get tougher stronger.
Keep learning.
No one can be happy all the time.
Or funny.
Or the life of the party.
Or the person that everyone wants to be around.
It's better to just embrace the hyper-activity.
Accept it - no regrets, right?
So, by not drinking excessively I'm left with myself.
Alone.
Not alone on an island.
I am the island. 
Sometimes it's sunny and warm.
Sometimes it rains.
Sometimes it's overcast and cold - freezing.
Sometimes there are rainbows and sometimes there is fog.
But it is always changing - never static.
And if others don't like it, can't deal with it, won't accept it, fuck it, no regrets, right ?
No reason to continue the half-assed notion of change - of trying to be someone different. 
Maybe if I was having more sex, none of this would be an issue.
One of the ways that hyper-activity manifests itself is in the form of  an active libido. Makes sense right ? 
If I was fucking more, I'd have less time to be bored. 
Less time to think about all the crazy shit flying around in my head.
When a person goes from having sex three to four times a day to once every other month, there's a lot of free, dead time.
Time to contemplate and feel guilty.
Time to imagine and get paranoid.
Time to drink.
Time to take drugs.
Time to dull and numb my over-active brain.
Time to try to forget.
But the memories always come back.
They can not be escaped from.
Trying to drown them with whiskey, wine, or smoke only makes them stronger, more viscious.
So fuck it, embrace them. They are mine. 
No regrets, right ?